Nisfu Shaaban

Selamat Menyambut Nisfu Shaaban !!!
Hem... bermula malam tadi, bermulalah kita punya amalan dalam buku baru. Kalau dulu masa sekolah, every year masa start sekolah, buku baru tu punyalah jaga, tak kasi ronyok malahan terkelepet sikit pun. Excited giler lah kononnya. Siap sampul lawa2 dan lawan, sampul siapa yg plg cun seantero kelas. Hehe.. tapi memula jer, dah nama pun manusia. Mananyer nak istiqamah selalu. Akhir thn, buku pun dah lunyai. Itu pun kalau buku digunakan. Kalau tak digunakan, tak dibaca, maintain cantik berseri ler buku tu.
Tapi buku amalan kita yg malaikat raqib dan atid tulis tu tak sama. Tak pernah tertinggal ditulis setiap saat setiap detik. Cuma cantik atau tidak jer isinya tu. So, untuk starting muka surat depan, mmg lah kita selalu kasi cantik2. Awal2 tu amalan pergh.. mantap, puasa, baca Al-Quran, sedekah sumer. Tp pas tu, apa jadi? Macam jugak buku sekolah kiter, awal2 dakwat biru, cantik jer. Pas tu, dakwat merah berterabur, pengkang sana sini. Agaknya kita ni cam penulis novel. Yerlah, starting dgn ending nak kena cun, psl part tu yg org belek sblm beli, yer tak? Lagi malaun dan tak boleh pakai plak kalau orang yg langsung tak kisah. Ending ke starting, main redah jer. Kalau main redah tu maintain baik tak per, ni maintain buat dosa, buat haper..
Last night, i should be going to a Qiamullail kat Masjid Jamek, but couldn't make it. Coz, it was held around 2.00am in the morning and suddenly my aunt, refure to join me. So, takkan nak pergi sorang2, takut lah. Akibatnya maghrib tak pergi, malam pun tak pergi. Malam tadi ada tution math ngan budak2, klu tak, nak jer gi masjid. Rasanya tak ramai pi masjid malam tadi psl ada game bolasepak kat stadium pasir gudang, Malaysia lwn Nepal. Pelik pelik manusia ni. Mcm Ahad lepas, ada majlis Tilawah Al-Quran, sedih aku nengok yg pergi nyer beberapa kerat jer.
I tried to make my Nisfu Shaaban, as good as i can. But bak kata lirik lagu In Team 'Semakin cuba ku dekati, semakin kuat pula Kau mendugai aku'. After having my breakfast, Solat Maghrib and finishing my Yaasin, i received a phone call that really made my heart terribly in pain. Mcm nk menangis pun ada. Klu tak kenangkan yg sat lagi nak pi ngajar tution, mau dah melalak tang tu jugak. Weii.. buku baru lah weiii.. kasilah bagus skit. So sabar jer lah hati, pi ngajar dan lupakan kejap. Alhamdulillah, tp balik umah jer, air mata turun macam ujan yg turun renyai2 mlm tadi.. Smbl dengar radio IKIM, kebetulan masa tu ada banyak disiarkan kata2 hikmah ttg menghadapi ujian Allah, pastu yg tak tahan tu, ada lagu Maafkan Teman.. adushh melesup masuk dlm hati terasa sungguh. Ya Allah dugaan seperti apa kah ini. Perit sungguh rasanya. Hari ni bangun pi keje pun rasa sayu sgt. Ujan pun renyai2 pagi ni. Satu nikmat Allah yg aku sgt suka iaitu ujan. Entah kenapa, biler time aku tgh sedih2, mesti ujan, mcm paham2 plak.
Last but not least, biler lah aku nak beli kaset Inteam 04 ni.. :(

Busy sikit busy banyak

Huyaiii.. my decision is clear. I wont go to TIME. I just let the time pass by without thinking and doing anything about it. So, here i am, at the same workplace and feel very comfortable despite other matters that sometimes make me feel like in bloody hell. Sabar eh Yue...
This weekn, my company is going for an outing at Tg Balau. Hemm.. but here, in this office no such atmosphere that we are heading to a day out for fun. I dun know why, not like the previous years. This week should be the busiest week for me, doing all this and that. But, now, like nothing is going to happen at all. Probably, becoz most of the events are going to be conducted by the resort itself. Why pay them that sum of money if at the end, we are the party that need to spend the energy. We are coming for fun so, let it be like that, no work. Hemm.. there will be 8 telematches during the outing day. And the teams are divided by departments. Argghhh.. i hate this kind of arrangement. Why not just mix up everybody? Bosannnya macam ni. Balik2 muka yg sama. This is not the correct way to build up the true team spirit among staff. But, what to do, i got no power and actually i did try to mention this to the higher committee but ibarat mencurah air atas daun keladi yg dah kena wax. Jgn kata serap, langsung tak ttinggal belen titis sikit pun.
That kind of arrangement actually is not fair at all. Everybody knows which team is going to win. Of coz lah, the staff from flourmill or feedmill or workshop is going to conquer the game. All men who are working in a tough environment and tough work. Compare to Admin and Account, ladies are majority. Camna kitorang nk menang. IShk.. tak semangat aku nk main. So, in order to make myself cheerer, i plan to make the 'pom-pom' and some simple roxette as an identity for our team. Tak menang game, tp menang sorak n gaya pun ok jugak whaaatt..
So, this saturday, i would go back to my parent's house and will go straight to Tg Balau from there. Why must take bus when my house is only 15 minutes drive to Tg Balau? And so many people already 'bising2' that they want to stop at my house on the way back from Tg Balau. Oh my God, if all people come, roboh lah my house, bengkraplah my mum.. hehe. Sikit2 bulehlah, ramai2 tak larat lah eden woii.
This week is going to be a busy week, but for something that are not related to my work. Yesterday, after aerobic, actually i had to join my 'tuan umah' to go to Zhulian Agency. (psst.. she tried to make me join this multilevel marketing). But something happen to her, and i was also so tired and not in the mood of going anywhere. This evening, Insya Allah i will go to Majlis Solat Hajat at Sek Keb Pasir Gudang 1 to accompay my cousin who is going to sit her PMR next week. I will pray for my sister too of coz. This evening also, actually i have a marathon aerobic but i wont go. Tomorrow, i got tution class till 10.00pm and will go to Qiamullail in Masjid Jamek sempena malam nisfu shaaban. Then, Thursday, one more aerobic class. Friday, i need to come to wor early morning to do some stock audit and later on in the evening my 'tuan umah' buat kenduri plak. So, i need to help. But how about the aerobic class for that day? Adoii.. payahnyer camni. Dah bayar yuran tp byk sgt kelas yg kena ponteng, rugi rugi. Saturday, i plan to go out with my mum to look for curtain cloth for Hari Raya. And then, Sunday, company's outing.
Now, i wonder, what is coming up next?

I am torn in between part II

Argghh.. the lady from TIME called me again, but i didn't pick up coz i was not around that time. So lucky otherwise i will have no idea how to decide about attending the interview. An email from her also came to get my confirmation which i still do not reply until now.But, my parent suggest not to go. They think, it is not a good thing to let me stay in the big city which i am not used to it. Life in KL and JB are not the same. It is not that i have nobody there. I do have a lot of friends and some relatives but my parent are the sort of people who dun like their child 'menyusahkan orang'. Besides, anak perempuan lah katakan. Tak elok duduk berjauhan dari mak bapak, apa-apa hal karang susah plak.Sometimes i can be a person who hate to take any risk even i am one of the members of ERM in my workplace. And this kind of thinking starting to tke over my mind. TIME, probably a big name, glamour. And probably will provide me with vast opportunities to learn. But how about the work environment? The bonus, the increament, the workload, the pressure? I am very comfortable with my current job actually. We are not famous but people would always use our product and financially we are very stable and InsyaAllah will always stay like this. Which company would give 4 months bonus, and 0.3k increament per year? Yesterday i went to an old friend's house. I told her about my problem and when i told her that now i am working with a company under Kuok, she immediately asked me to stay. Any company under Kuok are well-known as stable when dollars are count. Then, a few collegue plak asked me to go for TIME. Alahai.. i am very confuse lah.Now, i think, i would go to my parents' decision. I think, i will stay. I will never go to any where for the moment unless if it is fated that my jodoh is with somebody from outside Johor, then i'll go. Now, i start to think about my life goal. Material, kedudukan dan pangkat bukan segalanya. I want a peaceful life with my beloved people around me. Rezeki Allah harus diambil sekadar keperluan, baru dinamakan tawadduk. Di mana2 pun kita boleh belajar. Apa2 yg kita buat seharusnya diriringi niat untuk mendapat Mardhatillah, insya Allah

I am torn in between

Padang jarak padang tekukur. Hehe.. that's how i describe my office right now. With not more than 5 people inside. The others are enjoying their off day.
Hehe.. i had a day off yesterday. I went to Jabatan Pendaftaran Negara to make MyKad. Hehe.. actually i did lose my ic 5 months ago, made a police report and then never bother to make the new one. But last week, a close of friend claimed that he lost his MyKad and wanted to make the new one. So he asked me to come along and i used this opportunities to have mine. We are so lucky that JPN now is having a new branch in pasir Gudang so no need to travel to JB again. We went there around 8 o'clock and settled everything at 10.45 am. Not bad. But i knew i can be much earlier if not because of this friend who came very late and i need to wait for him. Again, i hate to wait for people coz my time will be wasted for nothing. Yup, suddenly i think that if i can come earlier, then everything will be settled around 9 o'clock and i still have time to go to work and no need to apply for annual leave huh..
Last two days, i received a phone call from KL. Gez what. Calling for job interview with TIME ! The caller was very friendly and that made me very enthusiastic to go. The interview will take place in KL so they give opportunity to decide on my own about the date and time. So flexible. This is good. Actually i plan to get some help from a relative who also work at TIME but unfortunately to know that he moved to ERICSON already. No more 'orang dalam'.. sob sob..
I am torn in between. If it happens that i successfully got this job, how about my current employer? They are very good towards me. The company is very stable in term of financial with good bonus and increament every year. The people are also very kind to me. But one thing that i hate is this company so 'kedekut' to let me learn a lot of new things or sending me to any training. So i am stuck at the same position and environment with no improvement in my skills or knowledge. Besides, i began to love my life in Pasir Gudang. Very peaceful and i can join a lot of useful activities here instead of going to work, return home, going again tomorrow.
Then, i will miss my students here. They are so sporting and getting better day by day. Hazim is getting better in his attitude. Now he is more concentrate in his study, never shy to ask questions and we can have a chat like friends. The same thing goes to Zakwan. This two handsome guy began to feel very comfortable with me. Intead of having a 'skema' tuition, we discussed like friends and sometimes talk about other things like Malaysian Idol hehe, the best place of having roti canai etc.. Now, everytime i return home from their house, i would feel very happy and puas hati sangat2.
Today, im going home after two weeks. I want to consult my parents about the TIME Interview.

Being A Teacher

It has been a week since i last updated this diary. Not in a mood of writing actually. And futhermore, more things that need my full commitments.
Now i have become a part time tutor to a family. A family who live in the same area. At the 1st place, i wonder why such family need a tutor for the kids when the mother is a teacher while the father is a lecturer at ILP. Well, 7 siblings, with the youngest is only a few months old. So, anybody can tell that the parents will hardly find a proper time to sit and supervise the children on their study. I teach maths on tuesday night and english on friday night. I enjoy teaching those kids actually but problem will surely occur.
The oldest is Hazim, a blurr boy which i have no idea what he is always thinking about. Always in a bad mood, no smile and i think he didn't like the idea of having this tuition. He is smart but with a very bad level of confidence and commitments. He is going to sit his PMR next year and his mum really want me to help him to wake up from the long 'sleep'. I am not an experienced teacher but i'll always do my best. The rest, leave it to Allah and i always pray for this boy. Last week, i gave him a very simple test on Tense just to look at how he has been doing in English. The result was really bad and i just couldn't imagine that he is actually have no idea at all about all those grammatical things.
The next one is Zakuan. A standard 5 student. This boy is very different from the brother. He is very smart, hardworking and enthusiastic. Always happy, smile and never care about being given a lot of work. I have no problem dealing with this boy as he always willing to learn and ask me for anything that need further clarification. I wish Hazim is like Zakuan, then out session will be much fun.
The last one is Iqah. 8 years old. She is very enthusiastic also and actually she is not in my tuition plan. The mother told me that she is not planning to put Iqah in this tuition as she is very young but the girl was so stubborn and keep persuading the mum to give her the opportunity to join her brothers. So, what to do, she is in. She is good but sometimes very careless and sometimes 'berangan'.
So, could you imagine how difficult is my situation to deal with 3 different level of students at the same time. I want to give my best and want to prove to their mother it is worth to hire me. Money doesn't matter and what i care most is the progress of the kids in their study.
A few days ago, a family ask me to give tuition to the daughter who will sit her PMR next month. Oh my god, last minutes plan? The parent dun even care about the payment and they really want me to train the girl very hard in a month time. So, i dun want to take the risk. Not because i wont be able to take the job but i was afraid that the result will not turn out as expected and of coz i wont let the parent simple waste their money like that.
Now, i really want to have the new In Team 2004 album. I went to a music store last week but SOLD OUT. Laku sungguh.. Hopefully somebody will buy it for me.. hehe.. as my financial condition this month is really really bad. Yesterday, i spent rm50 at a hair a saloon, had my hair cut and some treatment. After this i need to keep on fasting and have maggi as my daily meal.. huwaaa !!!

Umah Betul2 Kena Rompak

I have no idea, exactly how long should i stay in this office or should i go straight away to ask for MC form. Bangun pagi dgn mata dan hidung yg panas. Badan pun lesu semacam. Hidung mula buat hal, asyik terbersin. Actually the early symptoms started yesterday. Woke up in the morning just to realize that my throat was not comfortable and couldn't hold things properly because my hands shivered.
But yesterday buat tak kisah jer. But something bad happened that really worsen my conditions. Cik Ar called at my workplace and told me that rumah tempat aku sewa kena masuk pencuri semalam. (aku tk der kat umah weekn psl blk kg) Adoiii.. remember my previous entry about how i worried about kes pecah masuk umah ni? It truely happened. My face was so pale and macam2 yang terpk kat kepala ni. Adoiii. Immediately i got my boss permission to go out for a while. Drive back to Bukit Dahlia but i was not allowed to enter the house as police were not coming yet. Cik Ar told me that two houses had been robbed yesterday (Mine and Auntie Maria) and also two houses on the previous night (Cik Ar and Auntie Liza).
Just after Mimi got back from Police Station, Mimi (the house owner's daughter), me, Cik Ar, Auntie Liza and Ain (Cik Ar's youngest daughter) entered the house and very shocked to find out that all things were scattered away. Very messy and meremang bulu roma bila masuk. Giler punya bersepah. Memang sehabis inci umah dia geledah, sehabis inci almari dan laci habis dikecah2 kan. Pencuri tu masuk lalu tingkap di bilik Mimi, which is betul2 bawah my bilik. We couldn't take any further action as Auntie Wan (Mimi's mother) was not arrived yet from KL. So i went back to office while Mimi stayed at Cik Ar's house.
At office, i couldn't concentrate at my mork anymore. My body was getting worse especially there were raining yesterday. Ada orang kat ofis ni lagi mau buat lawak kurang ajar wlupun aku tgh keadaan yg serba tak kena dan bengang. Huh, saper suruh main2 kan aku kan dah kena semburan laser dr aku. Dia tak kena bolehlah buat lawak cam tu, cuba kena kat btg idung sdiri, baru tau.
Petang, tak pergi kelas aerobik. Mata dah mula merah, kepala dah pening2 dan suara pun dah berubah. Otak pun tgh ligat berpk. Rasa bersalah pun ada. Mimi tuduh aku yg salah psl tak pasang alarm sblm blk kg ari tu. Satu minggu auntie wan pergi kl tinggalkan kami berdua. Aku stay umah Cik Ar dan Mimi stay umah kawan dia. So, memandangkan umah Cik Ar plg dekat, aku lah yg dipertanggungjawabkan utk tengok2kan umah, psg lampu wktu mlm, kasi makan ikan, siram pokok sumer. Spjg minggu lepas, Mimi lgsung tk jenguk umah, aku redha jer psl maybe dia sibuk kerja (in fact aku lg bz psl kerja ofis hour sdgkan dia kerja waktu sekolah). So ari sabtu tu, lepas bereskan sumer kerja, baru aku balik kg. Aku nk tepon Mimi, suruh dia pulak tengok2 kan umah, tp tak der saper pun yg tau no hp dia even sedara dia yg duduk dekat ngan umah kitorang pun tak tau. Tp dlm ati aku kata, most probably Mimi akan balik utk psg lampu dan alarm psl ari sabtu dia dah tak kerja. Dan rupa2nya aku cuma take for granted, Mimi lgsung tk balik smpi lah semalam.
Biler auntie wan smpi dr KL, aku tak ikut balik umah sblknya stay umah Cik Ar psl badan mmg dah tak sedap. Dr yg Cik Ar ceriter, nmpknya Mimi menyalahkan aku. Yg aku rasa sikit kecik ati tu, masa memula mimi tengok bilik dia bersepah, dia buleh tuduh aku yg geledah bilik dia. Apa citer ni? Nor pun mcm sebelahkan Mimi. (smjk kawin ni, Nor dh mkn jauh dr aku). Mkn bingit otak aku ni. Kenapa aku sorang nk disalahkan sedangkan aku cuma penyewa, aku dh tolong tengokkan tu pun dah kira baik. Itukan umah dia sdiri. Dah ler bulan lepas aku dah buat kes dgn auntie wan. Auntie wan bawak citer kat orang kononnya aku tak bayar sewa dan macam2. Sedangkan aku cuma lewat beberapa hari jer, tak masuk pun bulan baru lg masa tu. Itupun aku tau dr mulut org lain, orang tu bawak citer ke Cik Ar dan Cik Ar kasi tau aku. Kesian Cik Ar, dia plak yg dpt malu. Aku terkilan lah psl klu betul dia tk puas hati ngan aku, cakap sdiri direct, tak yah nk kona sana sini dan buat org lain pun tlibat sama.
Mlm, lepas makan, aku pegi jugak umah Auntie Wan. Aku tak nak dia pk yg bukan2 lg psl aku. Aku jumpa dia dan mintak maap. Alhamdulillah derang tk salahkan aku dan anggap tu semua dah nak jadi, dah takdir. Barang2 dia pun so far tak der yg ilang. Klu lah tetiba nnt dia notice ada benda yg ilang, dia anggap tu bukan rezeki dia. Aku kagum dgn auntie wan. Hemm.. org educated selalunya mmg akan stiasa fikir positif. Aku pun mls dah nk pk2 sgt. Aku redha jer klu org nk marah pun, marahlah. Derang berhak wat cam tu, maybe ada sebab sdiri. Aku kena kuat utk tahan. Klu aku surrender dan melarikan diri, nmpk plak aku yg mmg salah.
Oh ya, terlupa plak aku nk cakap, masa kes rompak tu, syukur sangat2 psl bilik aku lgsung tak disentuh, maybe derang tak masuk langsung. Ada org mula pk jahat. Derang kata aku tak takut ker psl bilik aku tak disentuh, nnt org pk aku yg punya keje geledah2 ni. E'eh.. ada logik jugak. Auntie Maria dah bising2, ari jumaat lepas org bukit dahlia ada buat tahlil, so sepatutnya menda cam ni tk berlaku. Aku geleng kepala jer. Kata auntie Liza, mmg ada buat tahlil tp kenapa korang tak dtg? Cuba tengok, org yg pegi tahlil, rumah dia selamat. Ada logik jugak kata auntie liza, aku pun pegi jugak dan bilik aku pun selamat.
Mmg aku syukur sgt pada Allah kerana melindungi aku. Alhamdulillah inilah berkat aku usaha hidupkan bilik aku tu dgn bacaan ayat2 suci Allah. Bilik yg 7 thn tak diinap, tp aku dpt duduk dgn selesa.
Pagi ni, aku pegi keje cam biasa. Duduk dlm bilik berair cond ni buat aku makin nk demam. Insya-Allah ari ni aku puasa dan hrpnya dpt btahan smpi ptg. Ptg ni aku nk pegi satu umah dlm Bt Dahlia ni. Orang tu nk aku jd guru tuisyen utk anak2 dia. Tp dua hari ni, mood aku jd sgt teruk lah. Aku jd rasa nk marah2 jer pd orang2 sekeliling yg x abis nk nyusahkan aku dgn itu ini. Geram rasanya.

Merempat ke sana sini

Good... Lega, this morning, i had tried for so many times but still couldn't get in to this entry section. So, now i haf to make it short and hurry to prevent something stupid happen again and i haf to write again the entire entry. Come on lah.. who love to do double work?
So, what's up. Today, i'm going out to haf a lunch with a friend, the one that i cancelled last week becoz of that ridiculuous incident. Hopefully, no obstacle for today. For these few weeks, i spend most of my time in Cik Ar's place as my tuan umah keep going away, pegi sana sini, berhari2 tak balik. One of her daughter is going to Ireland in this mid september to further study, so they are quite bz arranging so many things. And i dun want to take the risk of staying alone in such a big house. This is what i hate about staying in this elit area. The favourite area for thieves, of coz. And if someday i gonna change career as a thief (hehe..), i will definitely choose this area as well. Hahaha.. A few weeks ago, a house near to mine, kena masuk pencuri and the maid had been tied. Last two days, satu umah kena kopak tingkapnya but the thief was not able to get in yet. And the house that i stay now, equipped with safety alarm system but still i think it is not reliable. Better go away.
Oklah, i need to go. Hugs n kisses from me for you readers.